Slartboz

GitHub - project details
https://github.com/mkramlich/slartboz-pub

Mastodon - updates & chat
https://toot.io/@synlogic/

YouTube - play screencast clips
https://www.youtube.com/@Groglogic

Reddit
https://www.reddit.com/user/Slartboz/

Patreon - support our further dev at $1/mo
https://patreon.com/SynystronGames/

[GAME LOGO / ILLUS. REQUIREMENTS: IT MUST BE WICKEDLY COOL. YET RESTRAINED. SUBTLE YET BOMBASTIC. REALISTIC YET IMAGINATIVE. LOTS OF BLUE -- PRETTY MUCH OVERWHELMINGLY AND UTTERLY NOTHING ELSE BUT BLUE, BUT ALSO, OBVS, TRACE HINTS OF TONS OF RED, GREEN, YELLOW AND POLKA DOTS, EMPHASIS ON POLKA]

The year is 2100 CE.

After a period of climate chaos, massive famine and bloody resource wars,

daily life for the vast majority of the human race who have survived

is an apocalyptic nightmare.

You are Abro. A teen male growing up in Normerika, a dangerous wasteland filled mostly with ruins and barbarians if not the utterly insane, and the sad reminders of a once great nation: the mighty United States. American democracy had been attacked relentlessly, both from within and from without, and eventually collapsed.

All you and your generation have left about it are stories.

You're in The Lazer Lizards. Its mostly just you and a group of frens.

There was a Vote and it was decided the group would go on an expedition.

Goal being to find & bring back a big cybernetic battle tank,

believed lost in The Wars.

Do you agree to embark on the Tank Search Expedition?

(SCREENSHOT OF SOMETHING INCREDIBLY EXCITING. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS YET BUT I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MYSELF JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. PRO-TIP: NO GAME DESIGNER IS NORMAL)

...

You are Abro. A teen guy living in Normerika. Normerika is the year 2100's future successor to what folks back in the "real" 2020s called the USA. (notice the scare quotes around real?)

Abro wants to have Fun. And he wants to Solve Problems. Wants to be a Hero. Wants a really Nice Ride.

Abro hates jerbs and chores, however. And gunk. And bad smells (well, his best fren Bonk -- he can put up with his.) And JINTs. He despises JINTs and tries to avoid them. However, there are millions of JINTs overflowing the world, still, even after The Global Grand Shitshow played out -- just as so many of the Hyper-Geeky Oldsters (ie. scientists) had warned them about, clearly and loudly, and so well in advance.

(SSHOT/VIDEO OF ABRO & BONK PRANKING AROUND LIKE DORKS, TRYING TO MAKE EACH OTHER VOMIT)

Abro has, in his possession and under his own general control, a few assets -- however modest. He has, for example, a Lazer Pistol! An actual frickin Lazer Pistol! (Broken, admittedly.) Thus the name of his fren's club. Abro also has Fern's Wuv Pin -- a small piece of jewelry not to be dismissed or ever overlooked under penalty of gravest consequences. And he has a VERY cool-looking, old high-tech gadget called The CommCube -- also broken, of course. But with all things broken there's a chance of repairing them, even if a lover's heart is harder to mend, if not utterly impossible -- especially for the purest of romantic souls? Well, or so he's heard! He's read stories. Oh, the stories he has read! Abro likes reading almost as much as shootin lazers. And Fern. ... er, uh... NOT shooting Fern! Let me make that clear. He *likes* Fern. Really likes her. But he likes shootin lazers ALMOST as much as he likes Fern. Some days/nights he suspects he might also Wu-- NO, is too much. He will play it safe and err on the side of Lazers and Shootin and Solvin Big Interestin Probs. Safer. Soooo much safer. And his best fren Bonk would never let him live it down. The two of them have so much more projectile vomitting to do together and he intends to cherish it. "Youth wasted on the young? Heck, not on Bonk and Abro!"

Fern is "In Wuv" with Abro. Nobody is quite sure, why -- neither the poor hapless boy, or, herself.

Fern loves shoes. She also has powerful mutant powers she tries to hide. But she would do almost *anything* to get a hot new pair of shoes. She has been tempted to use Her Terrible Powers in order to help her get them. But that would be Wrong (TM), right? Or would it be soooo wrong it was Totally Right (TM)? Honestly, at times, the line blurs.

(FERN/HER-POWERS: SSHOT/VID)

Abro wants a tank. A really big tank. Like a huge 4WD off-road vehicle, but with tons of armor and Big Ass Guns as a bonus. Its a no-brainer, really. Especialy if you are 15 like Abro. And no, he does NOT even have a driver's license yet. Why? Because there IS NO driver's licensing authority. Not anymore. There is very little authority left, period, anywhere. Because government itself has collapsed, mostly. ("Mostly," re-emphasizes Newt, the ever-helpful, even while blatantly crossing multiple dimensions of fictional reality like this.) And therefore folks are generally just trying to.. well, to Survive. Each new hellish day, Livin La Vida Loca in the Normerikan wastelands of 2100 CE.

(THE GRUSSIAN 'GOLIATH MARK VI', A GIGANTIC CYBERNETIC MAIN BATTLE TANK / LAND DESTROYER: SSHOT/VID)

(MORE TO COME, SOON. A MAKEOVER OF THE ITCH.IO PROFILE TEXT & IMAGERY FOR SLARTBOZ IS UNDERWAY. HAVE NO WORRIES, EXISTING FANS & FRENS: IT IS THE SAME GAME, SAME DESIGN, SAME VISION, JUST A DIFFERENT APPROACH TO PITCHING IT HERE ON ITCH.IO. WHY IS THIS ALL IN UPPERCASE? WHY IS THAT MAN YELLING AT ME? MOTHER, PLEASE HOLD ME. THE BAD MAN, HE SCARES ME. IS THAT THE SOUND OF THUNDER COMING IN THE DISTANCE? I DO HATE THE RAIN. AT LEAST THE GLERM CROPS WILL BE RESPLENDANT THIS SEASON! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL AM I TYPING HERE? FARK IT, LET'S SHIP!)

........

Playtesting begins September 2023

......

First release to general public of a playable download, a native desktop game for Mac -- and FOR FREE -- in November 2023

We'll add more platforms over time (Windows, Linux etc.)

........

HOWEVER... *If* we don't see enough evidence of approval and support from potential fans, then we might abandon work on Slartboz, at any time.

Ways to signal that YOU want us to continue building this game and ultimately release it for YOU to play?
* hit the Like button!
* hit the Follow button!
* post a praise comment!
* share this page's URL to others!

THANK YOU

Mike, the creator