Slartboz Event Preview: Abro's Last Talk with Fern

This is a sneak preview of the raw material for a planned event scene in the game Slartboz, an interactive fiction (IF) adventure game, under development.

....................

    In your last meeting with Fern before departing with your buddies (The Laser Lizards) on The Tank Search Expedition you should figure out what exactly to say to her.
    Why?
    Well theres a chance you might not *be* coming back. Therefore make your choice carefully. It might have big consequences for your relationship with her, and for your own future happiness.
    Thankfully there are only a *few* concrete choices that might make sense. And the relative advantages and disadvantages of each are also quite clear.
    You arranged a meeting with her on short notice, and then got together alone for a few minutes after the village dinner, just the two of you. At one of your favorite spots, a private little nook behind the big utllity shed near the community Mookow pens. The sounds of their MOO-ing helped to disguise their own sometimes loud "conversations" and yet didnt *completely* kill the romance factor, as a bonus.
    After giving her a brief intimate rundown on their group's plans for the Tank expedition, and the goals, the hopes, the justifications, the outrageous claims of likely Heroism, the usual excuses etc, and your own frank take on the odds of its possible success, you then come finally to the part you perhaps dread the very most. Because it involves...
    Feelings.
    And stuff.
    Like, *that* kind of thing.
    Corny, you know. But its better you address it than not. And now, rather than never. Just... get it out there and be done with it. What's the worst that can happen?

    Do you say:

(and pick only one)

- I love you.
- I wuv you.
- Hey I like you a lot!
- I dig your groove, chicko. So so sleen!
- Lets just be friends?
- I need you.
- You complete me. *You* complete *me.*
- You were decent but I've had better.
- Its been alright.
- Its not me its you.
- Its not you its me.
- Its neither you nor me its... *takes a big breath* ... the fault of the irresistable boy-ish lure of a heavily-armored Goliath-class cybernetic main battle tank, leftover from The Last Very Bad War, massing nearly 50 tons of well-dispersed surface pressure (at best historical estimate), and known to be armed with 3 large Gatling-style laz-cannon mounts, pulse mine-flingers, oodles of smoke bombs via 2 launchers (in 3 colors and 2 flavors), and the legendary Steiner Industries designed, most advanced variant of the Hellfire 5C missile arrays, all kept field-mobile via a sweet sweet automatic jet turbine transmission powered by a small onboard fusion reactor which requires only impure water or stale food scraps for fuel and which yields massive enemy destruction and awkwardly gnarly vibrations as its primary downstream outcome. It *will* probably kill us on sight, however. Those AI brains in em got Super Demented by the end. Since we've been going steady for a whole 6 months now -- and in the spirit of full disclosure --  you do deserve to know those last two points, especially. Babe.
- I may be... transitioning. Right now there is only an ambiguous tingling.
- I think girls are gross. I know, I know, I *should* have realized that earlier, but I was young and naive and flush with da Benjamins and sometimes a man just needs to sow his oats. I'm like 15 now, Fern, and need to get serious about life. Considering how little I have left, especially as the owner of a Zlog-built, quad-spectrum, boost-augmented laser pistol which hasn't been properly serviced, under warranty, in decades.
- We'll always have Pell! We lost it there, for a little while. But I think you and I, together, well I think we found it again, last night in the club. Also, something about a hill of beans.
- Hey remind me again what was your name?
- About last night... Ok *and* the night before...
- I'd ask you to come too but I cant bear the thought of putting you in danger, plus you're not technically a Laser Lizard and the guys might object. I'll tell you all about it when I get back though, promise. Assuming we survive.
- Have I ever told you how much I like the way your hair looks at night in the campfire light?
- I feel like we're destined to be together, forever. And not in a creepy way. Like, in a tomb.
- Oh, hey, look at the time! Off to bed for me.
- Call me, maybe?
- Keep it real, girl! And you so fine and all. Fo shnizzle! *weird hand gesture*
- My real name has been Steve all along. Steve *Miller*, to be clear. Yes, from that old Normerikan fazz band. Its because of STEM cells, thats all I know. There was a lab accident. My body's cells are slowly travelling backwards in time. ... HA!!! I got you! Just kidding, babe. Not telling the truth, at all. Or... am I?
- I wish I knew you before the Apocalypse.
- You look really hot in ancient Converse-brand high tops.
- Stay loyal and true to me while I'm gone, sweetheart.
- I'll always remember the way your swollen lips looked after you won the glerm-eating contest. Cannot unsee.
- I'll miss you, babe.
- Goodbye, pretty lady, until next time. And there *will* be a next time.
- I feel we should have an open relationship, be free to date others, like literally anyone else, without the other's permission or even knowledge. *Except* Shnick.

No matter which of the above (31) options you end up saying, here's what happens:

Fern just stands there silently for a minute or so. Staring at you. Looking deep into your eyes. Eventually she lowers her gaze, and puts her hands on her hips, as if lost in some inner thought or trying to arrive at some decision of her own.

She opens her mouth, briefly, as if to speak -- then stops herself. Instead she turns around and walks off in the night, heading in the general direction of her home in the village.

"Uh... Fern?", you call out to her. "Fern!"

She doesnt seem to hear it, or perhaps doesnt want to.

"Great choice, Abro!" you tell yourself.

Then you head home as well, to ensure you catch enough sleep before departing early in the morning. Like you warned Fern, you honestly don't know if you will ever come back from the group's upcoming mission. Alive or in one piece. And you can't know if she will be here, then, even if you do.

The idea of that stings.

You sleep terribly.

..........................

NOTE: To encourage further development of the Slartboz adventure game, PLEASE please greasy-super-mutants-in-trees-while-nibbling-on-knees, please -- and for the love of all that glows green at night in your nightmares before dying by dawn in the sunlight and return of The Rules, The Rules, The Rules -- send USD donations (any amount helps!) to:

https://cash.app/$mk2022akmar/

you can put "Slartboz" in the memo field of your CashApp send, if you like, so I know

thanks!

Mike, the creator